Safe Space for Self Love

07/01/2017

Self-Assurance In A World That Profits From Your Insecurities

"How can love survive in such a graceless age? The trust and self assurance that lead to happiness, they're the very things we kill." - Don Henley


I'm afraid it's true. Society is fuelled by that awful voice inside your head- when you look in the mirror every morning- telling you that you aren't enough. Don't get me wrong, I completely understand why this form of marketing is so effective but the idea that the world, as we know it, would completely fall apart if we were all 100% sure of ourselves and our abilities leaves a funny taste in the mouth, doesn't it?

The same society telling us that we can be and do whatever we want to do is also giving us the opposite portrayal in the form of ad campaigns. Inferring that we need to lose weight from this part of our body, buy this perfume or shave here in order to be not only loved but simply accepted. As if not checking out your basket is going to leave a void and hinder you personally.
During a conversation with a good friend of mine about addiction, he mentioned a way of acknowledging cravings and digging deeper into why you are having them at that moment in time. HALT. Which is an acronym for Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? This got me thinking: could we apply this same breakdown to our spending habits? And I guess there's something that we can all take away from that to apply to our actions in all walks of life.

Shopping is a form of therapy for a lot of people but we all know by now that things will not lead us to ultimate happiness; they only feed into the lie that your worth is measured by what you have around you without considering what's inside. cliché I know...
I am no less guilty of spending money when I don't need to. By far my biggest expenditure, (besides bills and food- of course) is makeup. I've had a love affair with these products for as long as I can remember. I wear a full-face of makeup whenever I can get away with it.

However, a wave of rage comes over me whenever someone assumes that, simply because I wear makeup, I must be insecure. Sure, I love nothing more than doing myself up before heading out the door but, for me, it's about the creative process of it all. A person who takes enjoyment from creating a new look should be viewed similarly to those using a similar brush to paint a paper canvas. It's an art form. So continue to blind the public with your popping highlight because the idea that you can tell someones character from the way they look is so outdated and misinformed.
That being said- we're all human. Bad days will creep up on you. There's no way to really get away from that. Those figure heads we see putting across a confidence that seems almost superhuman... yeah, even they have days where they find an enemy within themselves. It's sad, sure but it's a very real challenge and a part of our nature that we have to learn to accept and sit with.

"I'm still learning to love the parts of myself that no one claps for." - Rudy Francisco

 2017 will pose new challenges and new opportunities but the one thing I want to focus on is myself. In a non-superficial, self love kinda way. I want to re-frame my mind in terms of the way I view myself and how I put that across to others. I imagine we're all a little guilty of down playing our confidence on our "good days" in fear of being perceived as a narcissist. 

Although you're always going to run into people who have nothing nice to say and the media will forever pick faults with your looks and lifestyle in order to make sales, nobody is as harsh towards you as you are to yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you try to be towards others.

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