Safe Space for Self Love

13/03/2017

The One Where I Vow To Be Less Soft

"Sometimes I forget that putting myself first isn't selfish, but necessary."

Since I've been speaking a lot about self-improvement on this old blog of mine for a while now, I thought it was time I shared with you my biggest personal insecurity. It's something that I've struggled with for a long time and a weakness of mine which I want to combat. There's a fine line between being a nice, considerate person and being a pushover. It's a line I'm still, myself, trying to find and I've since made the decision to sit down and get it all off my chest.

I hate confrontation. There, I said it. And it isn't because I can't handle it. I genuinely just don't like the idea of upsetting anyone, or in the workplace, making someone's job any harder and so I often find myself saying yes to things that I really should say no to. Honestly? It does come from a good place but when you really want to make a good impression in your new work place, it can be hard to know if your positive intentions are coming across.I'm a big team player and I love to help people out. I'm also a firm believer that your workforce needs to be happy in order to make customers and therefore, the business, happy too. I'm just trying to learn to find that work-play balance that I am so desperate for.

The truth is, I'm a people pleaser, through and through and I always have been but in order to function at my best I need a little time to myself, maybe to do some writing or watch Catchphrase. No matter what it is, I just need time to refuel before saying "yes, of course" again. Now, I'm not expecting for this to change over night but it's certainly something that I need to work on and I'm sure there's many others who often find themselves in the same predicament as me, offering more of your time out than you actually have. It can be difficult to say no sometimes but you just have to do it.
It's easy to think that people will like you more for agreeing to anything and everything but actually, it can have the opposite effect. Don't stretch yourself too thin, trying to help everyone all at the same time. Once you start to value and prioritise your time realistically, the jobs you do will be appreciated that little more.

That being said, don't let anyone make you believe that being a kind-hearted person who just wants to help is a bad thing. People appreciate a helpful, selfless person but sometimes you have to respect yourself and your time enough to say no to optional jobs that you don't think are worth your time or effort. This is especially important for any other freelancers out there. Offering too much and overworking yourself isn't the answer and people will only take advantage. Charge what you are worth and nothing less than that.

So here's to the just-as-helpful-more-realistic-less-soft version of myself. Wow, that was a mouthful.

"When you say 'yes' to others, make sure you are not saying 'no' to yourself." - Paulo Coelho

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2 comments

  1. This is so great! It's so important right now for young adults - so many of us are under-employed - to remember to look after themselves in the work place, or in a work environment. It's hard to draw the line, but you're no use to anyone if you're stretched too thin or exhausted.

    Great post :)

    Erin | Explore, Refresh

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    Replies
    1. Hey Erin, thanks for your comment! I'm glad you enjoyed reading :) x

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