09/02/2019

A Letter To Myself

Please stop saying "I'm still trying to figure myself out" as if you're the only person not to have yet done this. The world is full of complexities and you are no different. Self-discovery is a unique and highly sought after aspect of humanity. It brings an understanding of oneself and your potential but also allows you to maintain deeper relationships with those around you.

I know you'll get frustrated when it seems like others just seem to know who they are without question but you'll get there. This chameleon-like persona you've found yourself portraying doesn't fill you with much hope but you're 22 years old for crying out loud. If media portrayal was anything to go by you should be drinking every night until you need to be carried home or spending your money on overpriced dresses you'll only wear the one time. Do you think other people your age have everything together and have an accurate sense of self? Maybe... But that will only change in the coming years- as will yours.

A lot of people talk about longing for travel and for adventure but you possess a great *edit- overwhelming* desire to explore your own internal intricacies and I don't believe this to be a completely bootless errand. You're just scared of becoming a prisoner to societal expectations or morphing into a crude imitation of those you idolise. Both of which are completely valid fears but bogging yourself down with these concerns will only hinder your progress and undermine all your efforts to date. Think of this journey as a process of elimination. As long as you're continuing to experiment and to test yourself, day by day, you're figuring out who you are not and that's just going to have to do for now.

There is no end game to self-discovery after all. Once you've analysed the experiences that have formed you to this date, simultaneously the world is throwing new and quite possibly greater ones at you which you're then later going to have to process and pick apart. Sounds exhausting. But the result of doing so will offer much-needed clarity. Stop thinking of this journey as a path taken only by 50-something's pursuing a career as a life guru and more like the inevitable quest for a valuable commodity: | individuality |
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