EMPOWERED BY MY OWN INSIGNIFICANT EXISTENCE

Thursday, April 23, 2020


It was a cold night. But we waited it out. Determined to see them once again. Just 24 hours before my partner and I had seen them completely by chance and, after scouring the internet for a while, we came across this article explaining that we'd witnessed Space X's Starlink satellites. A satellite constellation of 60 sent into the earth's orbit. Constructed by Elon Musk himself. Fascinating. We were wrapped up in 2 coats apiece, lying on our picnic blanket, eagerly waiting for it to pass once again. Besides a few silly conversations about what we'd send up into space if we knew it could be seen from earth (a replica moon to place on top of our moon so we had a luna snowman- of course), we mostly enjoyed the silence of each other. Not something either of us experiences very often.

I was soon greeted with the unwelcome idea that despite what I try to tell myself every day, I am, in fact, completely and utterly insignificant. A minuscule part of a wider system that doesn't even know of my existence. I then glanced over at Ali, who's glasses had completely fogged up by this point, and almost instantly I had a completely contradicting realisation that one person's value is actually more vast and more incomprehensible than the universe itself. How could I look at someone I'd loved and cared for so much for so long; someone who single-handedly changed my life, and see that life as nothing but a blip in the universe? Somehow we're able to be both trivial and remarkable in our existence at the same time. 

We're not going to get into the whole butterfly effect chaos theory too much but it definitely plays a part in all of this. The impact we have on a smaller scale in the things we do will in some way influence the bigger picture. I get that. However, overall we are just small parts of an ineffable system. Isn't that somehow the most empowering feeling though? Our insignificance is actually one of the most significant aspects of what makes us human.

Pain and suffering are all relative and just because there are bigger problems out there doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid. Once in a while though, I personally find comfort in being reminded of just how small my problems and insecurities are in relation to the rest of the universe.

Self-empowerment isn't about superiority. Being a part of something bigger is just as empowering. Our significantly insignificant lives are nothing less than a miracle. We have the ability to touch those close to us in ways that will be lost without document when we're gone. Remember there is beauty in the fleetingness of things and the impact we can have on our small portion of the universe is nothing but remarkable.

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  1. Millie - MSBLife24 April, 2020

    Damn, what a post! I really enjoyed reading your thoughts and their process. I also find myself wondering the same when looking up at the stars. I've managed to glimpse the Starlink once and it was great!

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    1. Ah! I'm so happy someone else has had the pleasure too. Thanks for reading!

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  2. Great post! We all contribute in some way, even if it is minuscule!

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